DISCUSSIONS

Relax – this is a big word especially in internal styles and is often misunderstood. In our context, we are using it as a technical term “Relax” with specific dimensions.

What it is not:

• It is not mindless. For example, after a long day at work, you might want to lie down, grab a beer, listen to music, and let your thoughts wander aimlessly. Our “Relax” state, however, is purposeful and mindful.
• It is not limp like cooked spaghetti. A limp state cannot influence external entities — such as an aggressor pushing you.
• It is not a state of having no muscle engagement. Muscles are required even to stand, lift an arm, or hold a posture. This state involves using muscles without being consciously aware of them — focusing on the movement itself, not on the specific muscle contractions that cause the movement.
• It is not about floating your arms around mindlessly.

What it is:

• Purposeful – there are specific things you want to accomplish with this technical “Relax”
• Involves deep understanding of not only WHAT is intended to be accomplished but the hidden mechanics that makes the entire thing work
• Like a boombox, as a whole, it is important to remember that the boombox is intended to re-produce accurate sound. However, each of the component knows what it has to do and work together to help accomplish the intended result – to play music. For specific skills, there are specific thoughts you have to maintain and most of the time, it is something that has to be learned because all your life, you have been taught differently.
• Just enough – No unnecessary muscle contraction. While some muscles must be engaged, that isn’t the focus. Instead, focus might go to a point, a path, or a meaningful visualization that guides your mind into the appropriate state.
• Discard distractions and focus – Mentally, you must fully commit to a specific idea and not let yourself get distracted. This state requires unbroken mental concentration and that is why you should not to distract a driver, or do not want to interrupt a gamer mid-game.

SCENARIOS

“The grabber moved while I was trying to get out of his grip.”

Yes, the relative position between you and your opponent is very important. We know that tools like screwdrivers and wrenches are proven and effective — but only when used correctly. If the object you’re trying to manipulate can’t be properly stabilized — for example, if it moves backward and rotates with your twist — then even the best tool won’t work.

Similarly, in dealing with an opponent, you may not be able to physically anchor them, but you can move in a way that prevents them from easily moving with you.

Some examples include:

• Limiting the space available for their movement
• Concealing your intended direction of motion
• Moving so quickly that they cannot react or keep up

In essence, you control the interaction not by overpowering them, but by managing the conditions under which movement occurs.

Efficient turn around

The closer you are to the center of a circle, the less distance you need to travel — which means you can turn more quickly and efficiently. This principle explains why being near the axis of rotation increases your effectiveness.

Concepts like turning around, axis, pivot, and moving as one piece are all relevant here. These ideas are interconnected and can get a bit too detailed to be fully explain in this blog.

If you have questions or want to explore this further, feel free to come 10 minutes before class starts. I’d be happy to help you ask, validate, and refine your understanding.

EXERCISES

Visualizing, playing, and experimenting with your body to reinforce what we’ve learned in class are all essential — and they must be practiced on your own time. Every skill needs to be repeated until it becomes automatic. While many of the movements may look simple, they’re not your natural or default responses.

In moments of stress, your instinct might be to panic, stiffen up, or engage in point-to-point resistance — all of which can make things worse. You need to train yourself to respond in a more efficient and effective way.

Think of your body like a car. While having a functional car is important, having a skilled driver is even more critical. Your brain is the driver. It needs to be trained to coordinate with the car — your body — to move smoothly, take corners efficiently, anticipate other vehicles and pedestrians, and adapt to potholes and constructions to ultimately get you from point A to point B.

And just like driving, the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

DISCUSSION

Vulnerable spots

We experimented with our first “pressure point,” which can cause extreme pain when pressed firmly with the fingers. This point is located beneath the ear and just behind the jaw joint. While it’s nearly impossible to reach during sparring—or if the aggressor has long arms and keeps them straight—it becomes entirely accessible when a bully feels overconfident about the size difference and bends their elbows for leverage, such as when gripping someone by the collar.

Lead by the fingers or synchronization of body parts

In classic scripts, we emphasize that the limbs and hips must move together as a single unit. While many participants understand this concept in theory, they often struggle with its execution. To support learning, we sometimes need to “trick” the brain. For example, the cue “lead with the fingers” can help some individuals correct delays in hand movement.

Almost successful is not enough

Self-defense is something you use only when you’re in danger, and you may only have one chance to get it right. If you haven’t practiced the techniques, they won’t work when you need them most. Flashy movements or techniques that merely resemble the real thing aren’t effective. You need to understand the mechanics and internalize the key points. It’s like having a plastic crowbar with a tongue that’s too thick to slide into a gap—completely useless. If you’re a stuntman, almost making the jump from one building to another isn’t good enough. A safety net that’s not properly secured is unacceptable for a circus performer. In self-defense, failure can be costly—sometimes even fatal.

SCENARIOS

Being held by the collar

When an aggressor grabs you by the collar, their arms are most likely bent. If you can access pressure points within reach, you’ll likely be able to induce enough pain to break free.

Cross-arm low grip

Participants often struggle with keeping their arms anchored at the reference point during each technique and step. While the movements are easy to understand intellectually, without consistent practice, it’s difficult to execute them successfully.

EXERCISES

Ditch jumping (Long stride)

Start by bending your legs, then push off hard and fast with your back leg, fully extending it before tucking in to return to a seated position. The goal is to develop explosive power for later application.

Common mistakes:

• Leaning the body: Your torso should remain vertical. Watch for any forward or sideways leaning.
• Tension in the upper body or powering through the arms: This is incorrect. Eventually, the arms need to stay relaxed to perform other tasks effectively.
• Leaning to generate power: This usually indicates the back leg lacks sufficient explosive force to power the movement cleanly, resulting in telegraphed motion.
• Not sitting deep enough: Failing to begin from a properly bent-knee position turns the movement into a mere shift of balance rather than an explosive “launch.”
• Lack of speed or slow acceleration: You must create a “POW” effect by driving forcefully through the back leg and glutes.

DISCUSSIONS

Rock, paper and scissors

In the children’s game of rock, paper, scissors, it’s easy to explain how one hand symbol wins or loses against another. Kids quickly realize that the three symbols form a loop. From an academic standpoint, it might seem like nobody truly wins; however, in reality, there are always winners and losers in any given moment. The key point is that we must make timely decisions—we cannot expect to always make the “right” one. If we make a wrong decision, we must live with it. That’s just a fact of life.

If fighting were like this game, the outcome might seem random. However, in combat, we use strategy. One such strategy is called “tagging.” Tagging involves creating a momentary “freeze” in the opponent’s balance, focus, or commitment. We aim to exploit that freeze—a small window of opportunity—to achieve a desired outcome.

If fighting is like the game, then the outcome may be random. However, in fighting, we have strategy we call “tagging”, we use it create a “freeze” in the other person’s balance, focus, commitment, etc. and we aim to make use of that “freeze” as a window to get our desire outcome.

Use of structural power vs body weight and muscles

Using body weight and/or muscle requires commitment, readiness, and speed. In contrast, structure provides an inherent support system—it’s always there and doesn’t need to be “triggered.” This is especially important for seniors: by understanding how to use structural power, you can take speed and muscle size out of the equation and still be effective.

“I don’t usually think like this..”

Yes, and that’s why one of the most important factors for success is learning not to panic, and to relax. Throughout life, we’re taught to fight and resist. For example, lifting weights involves pushing against something. But as seniors, we are often not the stronger or faster side in confrontational situations. Therefore, we must flip the entire mindset—we can’t behave as we “usually” would. This shift in thinking takes practice. We must retrain ourselves mentally to be ready.

“yes and…” versus “no but…”

How you say something changes how a person feels and reacts. Saying “yes, and…” doesn’t necessarily mean agreement or yielding—it simply acknowledges: “I heard you, and there’s more to explore.” In contrast, “No, but…” tends to imply: “You’re wrong,” and the other person may stop listening altogether. Being aware of the impact of your words and actions can help de-escalate tension and change the tone of an interaction.

SCENARIOS

Reviewing the Basic Wrist Grab Escape

We went back to the first basic move of freeing yourself from opposite arm wrist grab. With a two week break, we noticed the following common mistakes start appears:

• fighting with arm strength – anytime you are attempting to move your opponents arm, it will trigger him to fight your movement. Therefore you must leave the “grip” point as a pivot point and avoid any lifting, sideways or downward action. Unless he knows ahead, he will not respond to a non-action.
• confused about direction – we always attack the opponent’s weak side as first choice and we use our arm like a crowbar for leverage so that our power gets amplification since most likely, the opponent is stronger than us.
• turning ONLY the fingers around opponent’s wrist – without the elbow or the entire arm helping with the “track the wrist” action, there is no leveraging and the technique will fail.
• forgetting to step and turn – remember standing opposite to the aggressor reenforce the confrontation. Stepping to opponent’s direction and side helps remove you as a target and physically express the desire to see it from his side. Even more importantly, you are strategically positioned if things escalate.

Adapting to Space Constraints: When the Elbow Can’t Be Raised

We then explored a situation where space is limited and the elbow cannot be lifted—a key component in the crowbar mechanic. Since this restricts the traditional escape technique, we must adapt. Here’s the modified approach:

• Imagine projecting energy from your belly button, streaming through your shoulders, elbows, and fingers. This projection forms an imaginary steel rod—a unified structure from your center to your fingertips.
• Take a bold, committed step forward and rotate your body around the grip point, which must remain fixed as the pivot. By doing this, you turn your entire body into a lever, applying force from your structure against the opponent’s grip—typically just a few fingers. Stay close, move confidently, and avoid small, hesitant steps.
• Common mistakes in this scenario:
  
  1. Moving the pivot point (i.e., letting the grip shift or pulling away)
  2. Taking hesitant or timid steps
  3. Failing to project structure—if the arm is limp, the “steel bar” breaks at the shoulder, elbow, or wrist, weakening the entire technique
  
  

EXERCISE

Stretching the hip

We need flexibility, mobility, and control in the connection of the hip-to-thigh (i.e. kua 胯) area to generate lower body structural force. One advantage of using structure is that it doesn’t require a fast reaction time—once it’s in place, it remains effective without further exertion. Another benefit is that it helps prevent overcommitting your body weight, reducing the risk of falling if resistance or support suddenly disappears. Finally, structural force involves no perceived “effort,” as bones themselves do not feel and therefore the person doing the delivery feels “effortless”.

DISCUSSION

Common mistakes when pulling guard

• Keeping your back too straight or stiff makes it harder to absorb shovels and hits.
• Leaning forward or backward instead of maintaining a relatively neutral posture.
• “Chicken wings” – failing to tuck your elbows close to your ribs, leading to unnecessary exposure
• Uneven weight distribution between the legs, which compromises mobility.
• Being flat-footed hinders movement and reduces your ability to spring forward quickly.
• Keeping your hands too low or too high, rather than in the opponent’s line of sight to the shoulder, may expose sections of your body without you realizing it.
• A tense body – staying relaxed allows for smoother and more efficient movement.
• Actively coiling the body by using muscle to round the back—rather than allowing the spine to collapse naturally—limits movement in different directions.
• Tensing up before initiating motion telegraphs your movements unnecessarily.
• Shoulder blade shoved forward means that you are not relaxed.
• Sticking the chin / neck out can easily lead to a knockout or concussion if hit.
• Stance too long slows down movements.
• Pulling guard indicates you are intending to defend yourself. Therefore, do not put your guards up until you have decided to go all the way.

SCENARIOS

Three different state of mind while “fighting”:

• Harmonize – Used when dealing with someone you know who has no serious bad intentions toward you. Examples include someone having a bad day, a boss who’s had one drink too many, or a student. The goal is to de-escalate and maintain control without causing harm.
• Punishing / Serious Warning – Used to issue a severe warning to an aggressor. This should only be applied when you have a clear, repeatable advantage over your opponent. The objective is to make them understand that you can seriously hurt them if they continue. They may sustain bruises, but this is their one chance to back off before things escalate further.
• Destructive – Reserved for situations where your life is in danger. The goal is to incapacitate the aggressor completely, ensuring they are unable to continue their attack. Significant or even permanent damage is likely.

Demonstration of how we can escalate from the effortless techniques easily

The effortless techniques are my attempt to show you how we have options to protect yourself and yet not escalate. We can easily change that into joint locks or can hit if necessary.

EXERCISES

The skills learned are only the key to enter a room of possibilities

We revisited all the techniques for freeing yourself from one-handed or two-handed grips with partners in a random sequence. It takes many repetitions to develop the ability to execute these movements instinctively.

Learning to square off with an opponent

We began introducing squaring off with partners. At this stage, the exercise remains very limited—no steps and no contact. The focus is on drawing responses from slow attacks using matching quadrants and developing the ability to read incoming attacks.

Common mistakes

• Hand blocks extending too far outside their quadrants.
• Relying solely on hand defense without shifting the target.
• Telegraphing an attack.
• Over committing any movement.
• Stare at opponents eyes increase your chance of being distracted or may cause hesitation when you hit.

DISCUSSION

How to hold a fist?

• This class is specifically for seniors, with an age range of 55 to just under 90. Some of you already experience arthritis pain, while a few already have deformed hands and fingers. Expecting you to perform knuckle push-ups or strike a bag of stone pebbles may aggravate your condition.
• A punch requires perfect wrist alignment as well as significant wrist strength to prevent sprains. A punching bag is static, allowing you to concentrate, aim, and prepare before striking. In a real fight, however, you may be hitting a moving opponent, often at an angle that is less than ideal. Given these risks, I don’t think it’s worth attempting to hit with your fists—at least not yet.
• Not using a fist does not mean you lack the ability to inflict damage. For example, a forceful push can seriously harm an aggressive senior and may even be fatal. Instead of fists, using the palms and fingers to target soft, vulnerable areas, along with employing elbows and knees, can be just as—if not more—effective when necessary.

Commit to Your Decision

It is crucial to stick to your decision until everything is under control. Hesitation during a fight can cost you dearly.

The “fight or flight” decision should not be taken lightly. You must ask yourself, Where is my red line? Ultimately, your life—or someone else’s—may depend on it. Think through scenarios, consider your options in advance, and avoid regretting your choices later.

Too often, we take forever to make even small decisions, like choosing a movie to watch. This is why planning ahead is essential—it enables you to make quicker decisions when it truly matters. In a street fight, every second counts.

SCENARIO

Aggressive Handshake – To get out from the grip, you relax and work on his thumb, create alignment while applying “fire-hose” from body all the way to your fingertip.

EXERCISE

Pull guard – do NOT pull guard until you are ready for a fight. Once you pull guard, there is no going back. Remember the hints covered by “ABCDE Help” (If you don’t remember, refer back to this chapter of the class notes)

Mobility of legs forward and backward – The ability to move quickly is crucial. The way you move impacts your balance, distance, effort, and level of commitment, all of which can influence the outcome of a situation.

DISCUSSIONS

Body Language and Posture

During a confrontation, it is important to de-escalate without becoming a sitting duck. Using hand gestures to apologize, defer, or redirect can be an effective strategy, as it allows you to maintain a partial guard between yourself and the aggressor.

State of Mind

Engaging in a physical confrontation is rarely advisable when the situation is “not worth it.” Always remember that every action has consequences—even if you “win” the fight, legal issues could linger for months. Additionally, the risk of permanent injury or even death, whether to you or the aggressor, is a serious factor that must be considered beforehand.

Making the right decision takes time—something you may not have in a high-pressure situation. Thinking through scenarios in advance and discussing them can help you make better decisions under pressure. Making a potentially life-or-death decision is never easy, but you can significantly shorten your reaction time by establishing your “red line” ahead of time. Planning can also make potential losses more tolerable—for example, backing up your phone’s data, storing money in multiple places while traveling, and taking precautions all help reduce the list of things you need to fight for.

When saying NO to an aggressor, make it strong and unambiguous. Additionally, make it clear that you are not an easy target—any attempt to harm you will come at a high cost.

SCENARIO

There are no universally “correct” response to handle aggression. At that moment, you are on your own. Whatever is decided, nobody has the right to judge you as there are not you and they don’t know what is felt during that moment in time.

Everyone begins to appreciate that each variation in grip requires a different solution: one-handed vs. two-handed grips, crossover vs. same-side, high vs. low, as well as differences in strength, size, height, and palm position—all of these factors lead to distinct approaches. While the details may vary, the fundamental principles remain the same:

• Focus on attacking the thumb, not the arm.
• Move with the flow and direction of the force.
• Remember the “fire hose” principle.
• Step and move your body—this allows you to strategically reposition your body while improving the mechanics.

As you can see, this is only the start, what else are there? You must repeat the drills until it become instinctive to you.

EXERCISES

Practice moving “off the line” naturally and instinctively.

Practice talking with body and hand gestures to apologize or feint a sudden spell of dizziness, or about to throw up so that it looks real.

DISCUSSIONS

The four quadrants – We divide the body into four parts: left and right (split down the center) and upper and lower (divided at the top of the hip bone). Each quadrant contains one limb, and each limb’s primary responsibility is to protect its own zone. When a limb moves out of its designated zone for defense, that zone becomes vulnerable to attacks.

As an example, we should avoid blocking a leg kick using the arm because doing so moves the arm out of its zone, leaving the head exposed to attacks. Furthermore, the leg bone is much thicker than the bone of the forearm.

The guard – In a street confrontation, you may find yourself arguing or facing an aggressive bully approaching you. In such situations, immediately raising your guard may not always be the best choice, as it could escalate the conflict. However, if you need to adopt a guard to protect yourself, keep the following (ABCDE Help) in mind:

• Align and angle your hips with your shoulders and heel.
• Bend your knees, elbows, and chest, stay on toes ready to spring into action.
• Chin tucked, with your forehead leading, to stabilize your head position.
• Divide your body into zones, and remember that crossing over leaves a zone unprotected.
• Eyes fixed on your opponent’s center—eliminate hesitation. Once you commit to fighting back, treat your opponent like a punching bag. Unclear intentions can be fatal.
• Hands should be kept in line from your opponent’s eyes to your own shoulder, pointing forward.

SCENARIOS

Scenario – wrist grab (two hands to one hand grips – low)

In dealing with two hands against one hand, you have to make sure all the mechanics are correct. The technique itself is still based on the original skill of dealing one-hand-against-one. The added complexity is simply how to move the extra arm without lifting or pushing the controlling arm.

A) the hand that is closest to the hand being grip crossed the center line, low

B) the hand that is closest to the hand being group is on the same side, low

EXERCISES

Balance on one leg, lift knee hip circles – try to maintain balance, perform the skill slow and raise the knee to at least belly button level. This strengthens the hip flexor muscles, uses the butt muscles to perform the turnout of the knee, as well as the hip and ankle muscles for balance

DISCUSSIONS

How to practice by yourself

When asked whether everyone had practiced all the techniques they had learned at home, all I saw were embarrassed smiles. But there’s no need to be embarrassed—it’s a very common challenge. In class, practice is always done with partners, but at home, you need to find ways to train on your own.

We explored the idea of practicing through partnerless drills, similar to performing a single-technique form. However, there are drawbacks. Without external references, key concepts such as angles, alignment, centerline, direction of movement, which body part is moving, and which remains fixed can be difficult to grasp.

To overcome these challenges, we use fixed external references—for example, touching the sofa, facing the windows, or keeping the forearm parallel to the edge of a table. This helps guide movement and visualization for the specific skill. Repeating these drills is highly effective in training the brain and nervous system, making the techniques instinctive over time.

SCENARIOS

We worked through all the grips learnt so far and emphasizing on the key points that must be done correctly and why. Remember to strategically reposition yourself after every skill.

Scenario – wrist grab (one hand grip, crossover, high- grip)

During the “relax” phase, you transfer your body weight into the grip without any muscle tension. During the “wrap” phase, you focus on folding the his thumb inward to make it impossible to hang onto the grip.

EXERCISES

Squat with back parallel to the ground, then open arms horizontally to get the should blade muscles stronger. Those muscles are useful for posture as well as outward circular hits.

SOCIAL

Congratulations! We’ve passed the halfway mark of this season! This is the first time this self-defense class has been offered as a multi-session course. Since it was designed specifically for seniors, a gentle and effortless approach is strongly emphasized.

We have a diverse group of participants—some with martial arts backgrounds in disciplines like karate and tai chi, while others joined out of curiosity. Instead of traditional forms, we use real-life scenarios to guide the lessons. Although the teaching approach differs, each movement incorporates principles from soft Chinese classical styles such as tai chi (太極拳) and liuhebafa (六合八法).

Thank you for everyone’s support. If you can email / leave feedback on what you enjoyed most about this class, it will help me create lesson plans for the spring season. Again, you can find me on Facebook as well. 🙂

DISCUSSIONS

Understand and can adapt

Remember that purpose (the WHAT) drives the HOWS. There isn’t a universally right way to do things—it all depends on WHAT the question is and your intent. Once you understand the context, it becomes much easier to determine whether the HOWS effectively answer the question or if there’s a better way to approach the task.

Take a simple activity like stretching. If your goal is to develop maximum flexibility, your stretching method will differ from stretching simply to protect your muscles for sport. Similarly, warm-ups for improving overall health are quite different from warm-ups before leaving home.

For health purposes, improving blood circulation to the organs, joints, and core is crucial. However, for fall prevention or self-defense, the focus should be on activating muscles for strength, speed, and quick reflexes.

Keeping distance

It is crucial to maintain distance between yourself and an aggressor. Avoid standing within arm’s or leg’s reach, as even the most skilled individuals may struggle to defend themselves at such close range.

It’s also important to conceal any signs of stress or fear. Instead of visibly backing away, you might pretend to have suddenly remembered something and casually walk off at a perpendicular angle to the aggressor’s path. Avoid turning your back—keep them in sight using your peripheral vision to stay aware of their movements.

Priorities

Frustration and anger need an outlet, but acting on them impulsively is not a good habit. There are reckless drivers everywhere, but you can’t “teach everyone a lesson”—nor is it your responsibility to do so.

In life, some things are worth protecting, while others are best let go. The last thing you want in your final moments is to think, “I don’t even know why I got into that fight…”

And it’s not always a stranger on the street—sometimes, it’s the people you love most, like your spouse or children. Learning to release an emotional outburst through a deep breath is far better than acting on it. With your kids, sometimes all you need to do is listen, rather than telling them what you think they should do. In moments like these, your response could change the entire course of their life.

SCENARIOS

Many people believe that self-defense must involve violence—such as a kick to the groin or a stab to the throat. However, these techniques are meant for much later stages of confrontation.

There are many situations where reacting with violence is entirely inappropriate, such as:

1. Your boss is a little drunk at the office Christmas party.
2. You were roughhousing with your brother or kids.
3. Children are playfully jostling while lining up.

In most cases, if someone escalates a situation inappropriately, the so-called “victim” may end up being the one in trouble.

Effective self-defense techniques up to this point should be effortless, and often, non-aggressive or non-confrontational. However, avoiding escalation does not mean failing to respond. You must still redirect the person’s attention and position yourself strategically to maintain mobility and options.

Scenario – wrist grab (one hand, same side crossover high grip)

Common mistakes – attempt to resist and yank to get off, missing thumb wrap action, bad alignment, tension

EXERCISES

Jump but not really – this is a way to train your nervous system on how to land on your feet – ball of the foot, whole foot, bend the knees and hip.

Jump from a straight leg position – the only muscle group you can use are the feet and calves. This is important to eliminate the preparation step of first bending the leg. While this exercise requires you to jump from a leg straight position, you must be careful to land using the ball of the feet, whole foot and then bend those knees and hips.

Double step – this exercise is train your response when you trip because on uneven pavement etc.