DISCUSSIONS

Relax – this is a big word especially in internal styles and is often misunderstood. In our context, we are using it as a technical term “Relax” with specific dimensions.

What it is not:

• It is not mindless. For example, after a long day at work, you might want to lie down, grab a beer, listen to music, and let your thoughts wander aimlessly. Our “Relax” state, however, is purposeful and mindful.
• It is not limp like cooked spaghetti. A limp state cannot influence external entities — such as an aggressor pushing you.
• It is not a state of having no muscle engagement. Muscles are required even to stand, lift an arm, or hold a posture. This state involves using muscles without being consciously aware of them — focusing on the movement itself, not on the specific muscle contractions that cause the movement.
• It is not about floating your arms around mindlessly.

What it is:

• Purposeful – there are specific things you want to accomplish with this technical “Relax”
• Involves deep understanding of not only WHAT is intended to be accomplished but the hidden mechanics that makes the entire thing work
• Like a boombox, as a whole, it is important to remember that the boombox is intended to re-produce accurate sound. However, each of the component knows what it has to do and work together to help accomplish the intended result – to play music. For specific skills, there are specific thoughts you have to maintain and most of the time, it is something that has to be learned because all your life, you have been taught differently.
• Just enough – No unnecessary muscle contraction. While some muscles must be engaged, that isn’t the focus. Instead, focus might go to a point, a path, or a meaningful visualization that guides your mind into the appropriate state.
• Discard distractions and focus – Mentally, you must fully commit to a specific idea and not let yourself get distracted. This state requires unbroken mental concentration and that is why you should not to distract a driver, or do not want to interrupt a gamer mid-game.

SCENARIOS

“The grabber moved while I was trying to get out of his grip.”

Yes, the relative position between you and your opponent is very important. We know that tools like screwdrivers and wrenches are proven and effective — but only when used correctly. If the object you’re trying to manipulate can’t be properly stabilized — for example, if it moves backward and rotates with your twist — then even the best tool won’t work.

Similarly, in dealing with an opponent, you may not be able to physically anchor them, but you can move in a way that prevents them from easily moving with you.

Some examples include:

• Limiting the space available for their movement
• Concealing your intended direction of motion
• Moving so quickly that they cannot react or keep up

In essence, you control the interaction not by overpowering them, but by managing the conditions under which movement occurs.

Efficient turn around

The closer you are to the center of a circle, the less distance you need to travel — which means you can turn more quickly and efficiently. This principle explains why being near the axis of rotation increases your effectiveness.

Concepts like turning around, axis, pivot, and moving as one piece are all relevant here. These ideas are interconnected and can get a bit too detailed to be fully explain in this blog.

If you have questions or want to explore this further, feel free to come 10 minutes before class starts. I’d be happy to help you ask, validate, and refine your understanding.

EXERCISES

Visualizing, playing, and experimenting with your body to reinforce what we’ve learned in class are all essential — and they must be practiced on your own time. Every skill needs to be repeated until it becomes automatic. While many of the movements may look simple, they’re not your natural or default responses.

In moments of stress, your instinct might be to panic, stiffen up, or engage in point-to-point resistance — all of which can make things worse. You need to train yourself to respond in a more efficient and effective way.

Think of your body like a car. While having a functional car is important, having a skilled driver is even more critical. Your brain is the driver. It needs to be trained to coordinate with the car — your body — to move smoothly, take corners efficiently, anticipate other vehicles and pedestrians, and adapt to potholes and constructions to ultimately get you from point A to point B.

And just like driving, the more you practice, the easier it becomes.

DISCUSSION

Vulnerable spots

We experimented with our first “pressure point,” which can cause extreme pain when pressed firmly with the fingers. This point is located beneath the ear and just behind the jaw joint. While it’s nearly impossible to reach during sparring—or if the aggressor has long arms and keeps them straight—it becomes entirely accessible when a bully feels overconfident about the size difference and bends their elbows for leverage, such as when gripping someone by the collar.

Lead by the fingers or synchronization of body parts

In classic scripts, we emphasize that the limbs and hips must move together as a single unit. While many participants understand this concept in theory, they often struggle with its execution. To support learning, we sometimes need to “trick” the brain. For example, the cue “lead with the fingers” can help some individuals correct delays in hand movement.

Almost successful is not enough

Self-defense is something you use only when you’re in danger, and you may only have one chance to get it right. If you haven’t practiced the techniques, they won’t work when you need them most. Flashy movements or techniques that merely resemble the real thing aren’t effective. You need to understand the mechanics and internalize the key points. It’s like having a plastic crowbar with a tongue that’s too thick to slide into a gap—completely useless. If you’re a stuntman, almost making the jump from one building to another isn’t good enough. A safety net that’s not properly secured is unacceptable for a circus performer. In self-defense, failure can be costly—sometimes even fatal.

SCENARIOS

Being held by the collar

When an aggressor grabs you by the collar, their arms are most likely bent. If you can access pressure points within reach, you’ll likely be able to induce enough pain to break free.

Cross-arm low grip

Participants often struggle with keeping their arms anchored at the reference point during each technique and step. While the movements are easy to understand intellectually, without consistent practice, it’s difficult to execute them successfully.

EXERCISES

Ditch jumping (Long stride)

Start by bending your legs, then push off hard and fast with your back leg, fully extending it before tucking in to return to a seated position. The goal is to develop explosive power for later application.

Common mistakes:

• Leaning the body: Your torso should remain vertical. Watch for any forward or sideways leaning.
• Tension in the upper body or powering through the arms: This is incorrect. Eventually, the arms need to stay relaxed to perform other tasks effectively.
• Leaning to generate power: This usually indicates the back leg lacks sufficient explosive force to power the movement cleanly, resulting in telegraphed motion.
• Not sitting deep enough: Failing to begin from a properly bent-knee position turns the movement into a mere shift of balance rather than an explosive “launch.”
• Lack of speed or slow acceleration: You must create a “POW” effect by driving forcefully through the back leg and glutes.

DISCUSSIONS

Rock, paper and scissors

In the children’s game of rock, paper, scissors, it’s easy to explain how one hand symbol wins or loses against another. Kids quickly realize that the three symbols form a loop. From an academic standpoint, it might seem like nobody truly wins; however, in reality, there are always winners and losers in any given moment. The key point is that we must make timely decisions—we cannot expect to always make the “right” one. If we make a wrong decision, we must live with it. That’s just a fact of life.

If fighting were like this game, the outcome might seem random. However, in combat, we use strategy. One such strategy is called “tagging.” Tagging involves creating a momentary “freeze” in the opponent’s balance, focus, or commitment. We aim to exploit that freeze—a small window of opportunity—to achieve a desired outcome.

If fighting is like the game, then the outcome may be random. However, in fighting, we have strategy we call “tagging”, we use it create a “freeze” in the other person’s balance, focus, commitment, etc. and we aim to make use of that “freeze” as a window to get our desire outcome.

Use of structural power vs body weight and muscles

Using body weight and/or muscle requires commitment, readiness, and speed. In contrast, structure provides an inherent support system—it’s always there and doesn’t need to be “triggered.” This is especially important for seniors: by understanding how to use structural power, you can take speed and muscle size out of the equation and still be effective.

“I don’t usually think like this..”

Yes, and that’s why one of the most important factors for success is learning not to panic, and to relax. Throughout life, we’re taught to fight and resist. For example, lifting weights involves pushing against something. But as seniors, we are often not the stronger or faster side in confrontational situations. Therefore, we must flip the entire mindset—we can’t behave as we “usually” would. This shift in thinking takes practice. We must retrain ourselves mentally to be ready.

“yes and…” versus “no but…”

How you say something changes how a person feels and reacts. Saying “yes, and…” doesn’t necessarily mean agreement or yielding—it simply acknowledges: “I heard you, and there’s more to explore.” In contrast, “No, but…” tends to imply: “You’re wrong,” and the other person may stop listening altogether. Being aware of the impact of your words and actions can help de-escalate tension and change the tone of an interaction.

SCENARIOS

Reviewing the Basic Wrist Grab Escape

We went back to the first basic move of freeing yourself from opposite arm wrist grab. With a two week break, we noticed the following common mistakes start appears:

• fighting with arm strength – anytime you are attempting to move your opponents arm, it will trigger him to fight your movement. Therefore you must leave the “grip” point as a pivot point and avoid any lifting, sideways or downward action. Unless he knows ahead, he will not respond to a non-action.
• confused about direction – we always attack the opponent’s weak side as first choice and we use our arm like a crowbar for leverage so that our power gets amplification since most likely, the opponent is stronger than us.
• turning ONLY the fingers around opponent’s wrist – without the elbow or the entire arm helping with the “track the wrist” action, there is no leveraging and the technique will fail.
• forgetting to step and turn – remember standing opposite to the aggressor reenforce the confrontation. Stepping to opponent’s direction and side helps remove you as a target and physically express the desire to see it from his side. Even more importantly, you are strategically positioned if things escalate.

Adapting to Space Constraints: When the Elbow Can’t Be Raised

We then explored a situation where space is limited and the elbow cannot be lifted—a key component in the crowbar mechanic. Since this restricts the traditional escape technique, we must adapt. Here’s the modified approach:

• Imagine projecting energy from your belly button, streaming through your shoulders, elbows, and fingers. This projection forms an imaginary steel rod—a unified structure from your center to your fingertips.
• Take a bold, committed step forward and rotate your body around the grip point, which must remain fixed as the pivot. By doing this, you turn your entire body into a lever, applying force from your structure against the opponent’s grip—typically just a few fingers. Stay close, move confidently, and avoid small, hesitant steps.
• Common mistakes in this scenario:
  
  1. Moving the pivot point (i.e., letting the grip shift or pulling away)
  2. Taking hesitant or timid steps
  3. Failing to project structure—if the arm is limp, the “steel bar” breaks at the shoulder, elbow, or wrist, weakening the entire technique
  
  

EXERCISE

Stretching the hip

We need flexibility, mobility, and control in the connection of the hip-to-thigh (i.e. kua 胯) area to generate lower body structural force. One advantage of using structure is that it doesn’t require a fast reaction time—once it’s in place, it remains effective without further exertion. Another benefit is that it helps prevent overcommitting your body weight, reducing the risk of falling if resistance or support suddenly disappears. Finally, structural force involves no perceived “effort,” as bones themselves do not feel and therefore the person doing the delivery feels “effortless”.